Page 29 - You can't Make This Shit Up!

Circles
October 17, 2017
Circle round for freedom, circle round for peace, For all of imprisoned, circle for release. Circle for the planet, circle for each soul. For the children of our children, keep the circle whole. -Linda Hirschlorn.
Time is not linear. That is a fact. However, in my life cycle, I see a pattern. I reconnect with people every few cycles. And when I do, I am happy. So happy. But then life gets in the way, and we all take different paths.
I didn’t feel any connection to the “Alli” I was growing up on Long Island. This being said, when I reconnected with Long Island friends, there she was. “Alli” from the block. Daughter of Neil and Wendy. Alli from 0-15... She was always there.
The next cycle was Saratoga. High school days. Crazy fun times. Fantastic group of friends. Sleep overs at the Petersons. Driving through Carls Jr. at 1am ordering a single slice of american cheese. Keg parties every weekend. Prom. Driving a 1979 Rabbit. That “Alli” is also still there.
Then mommy life Alli came. I was all in. Co op preschools, volunteering in the classrooms. Teaching the whole elementary school about Hanukkah. Backstage at school plays. Parties for the girls. Birthday parties with 50 pre pubescent teens. Cooking for the masses. Open door policy. I liked that Alli. There she is.
Letting go Alli is the stage I am in now. I don’t like it. I don’t like that 2 of the 3 of my children live in different states. I don’t like not “having” to drive anyone anywhere. I was never a career girl who gave it up for children. My children have been my career. This is a time of reflection and transition. In 1.5 years it will just be Skee and me. We won’t need all this room. We won’t need to go to Costco. We won’t be waiting up for anyone. Waiting for the garage door to open up so we can sleep soundly knowing everyone is home safe.
I have a few friends who have become grandparents. Mind blowing. They say it beats every single thing they have been and done before those grand babies came along. We are not there yet. We are just in that middle part. Middle aged. I can see why people have crisis at this point.
My life has been a circle of ebb and flow. Good times, bad times, they made me who I am. I am grateful that I still can connect to each part of myself. Though I look in to an uncertain future, I am sure blessed to have had a glorious past.