Page 35 - You can't Make This Shit Up!

activity!!! The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end!!!!!! Spoiler alert, he was dismissed. Other excuses ranged from hating the site of blood to having a hair appointment that couldn’t be rescheduled. I kid you not.
We were sent out to have lunch and when we returned there were twice as many jurors waiting outside of the court room. Come to find out that my group was being called in to get only one more juror and then the two alternates. The other eleven Jurors had been selected the day before.
So the first candidate stood. The prosecutor excused him. The second stood. The defense excused
her. The third stood. The prosecutor excused him. Then me. I could hardly maintain my
composure. They told me to take juror seat number 3. No one excused me and viola!!! I was, and from here forward would like to be known as Juror #3, or 3 for short. The two alternates were selected and the other 20 were excused.
Then the trial got down to business.
Here is the overview. I am going to change the names so as to not get in any trouble. Lets call the defendant “Lester”. He was visiting his childhood friend “Grover” and “Grover’s” girlfriend “Dolores”. Lester and Grover are from the midwest. They started the day off watching the seals in La Jolla. Oh, and taking shots of vodka. Vodka and Seals. Good wholesome fun.
Grover and Dolores were not getting along very well. So when they decided to take Lester to a bar in Pacific Beach, they were anything BUT fun to hang out with. Lester threw back a few. Then he threw back a few more.
Meanwhile a group of locals were on the porch of the bar sharing some libations after a memorial service for a mutual friend. emotions were running high. Two of the locals were actually bouncers at a nearby bar, and apparently in PB bouncers are a “tribe”. They are a “family”. These bouncers had worked at the bar they were at, but were not working that night, and no longer worked for that particular establishment.
Two of these off duty bouncers, lets call them “Shamille” and “Shamazzle’, were with a third friend who was crying. After all, it was on the heals of an emotional memorial. Lester, drunk and disorderly, stumbled over to Shamille and Shamazelle’s table and asked the woman who was crying it she “wanted a kiss”. This DID NOT go over well (shocker). Shamille told Lester to beat it. And he did.
Lester left Grover and Dolores and walked to a different bar and had a “few drinks”. Then he went to a third bar and had, you guessed it, a few more. He also hit the liquor store for a pint of vodka. To put in his back pocket. Because that is what one does after seeing Seals and drinking at 3 bars.
About this time Lester thinks he might want to try the first bar again. The bouncer on duty turned him away. He looks over and sees Dolores and Grover in Grover’s car and as he stumbles there Shamille and Shamazzle follow him. Shamille starts getting into a verbal altercation with Dolores (both are
women). Bad things are said. Grover butts in only to be told he has a “small penis” by Shamille. Then at some point Lester asks Dolores if she has “any way to protect themselves”. Dolores just so happens to have a... box cutter in her purse. She even cuts her own hand getting it out to give to Lester. (side note...Dolores was not present at this trial).