Page 16 - You can't Make This Shit Up!
P. 16
WHEN I WAS HUNGRY, HUNGRY AS A BEAR, I WENT UP TO THE COUNTER TO GET MY BILL OF FAIR. I ORDERED UP SOME DONUTS THAT WERE HARD AS ROCKS. FIRST THEY GAVE ME THE SHIVERS, THEN THE SHOCKS.
I WENT UP TO THE COUNTER FOR MY BILL OF FARE TO PAY, AND THIS IS WHAT THE MAN TO ME DID SAY. “THERE’S A HOLE IN YOUR NICKEL AND IT RUNS RIGHT THROUGH”, SAID I “THERE’S A HOLE IN YOUR DONUT TOO”.
SPITTING ON THE FLOOR IS A RULE ALRIGHT, THEY PUT YOU IN THE COOLER FOR A DAY AND NIGHT. AND IN THE COOLER, THERE’S A MAN NAMED CANE. THE FIRST THING HE DOES IS ASK YOU YOUR NAME. HE GIVES YOU A LOOK AND A TERRIBLE GLANCE AND SAYS “SONNY, I’LL GIVE YOU ONE MORE CHANCE”.
YOU GET BEANS IN THE MORNING, BEANS AT NIGHT, SERVED IN A ROUND TIN DISH, AND EVERY FRIDAY NIGHT YOU GET GEFILTE FISH.
WHEN I DIE, BURY ME DEEP. DEEP DEEP DEEP WHERE THE HOBOS SLEEP. PLACE A KEG OF BEER UPON MY CHEST TO TELL THE OTHER HOBOS THAT I’M AT REST.
