Page 17 - You can't Make This Shit Up!

Life lessons 101
July 20, 2017
“I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from win and lose and still somehow, It’s life’s illusions I recall, I really don’t know life at all”. -Joni Mitchell
I have learned quite a few things being on the earth for 46 years. I will share a few.
If you don’t like the way it smells, don’t eat it. When you open a cabinet, close it so you don’t smack your head. Don’t spend what you don’t have. Just because “they say so” doesn’t mean it is. Having extra checks doesn’t mean you have money. Pack your meds in your carry on. If you find a great deal, buy one for a friend too. What someone thinks about you is none of your business. Always make extra. No act of kindness is a waste. Hold the door open for the person behind you. Don’t gossip. Park far away and walk. Lower you voice in an argument. Say “I love you” more. Eat dessert first once in a while. Lend out books you love. Make your inner voice kind. Sleep in. Under commit and over deliver. Let go last in a hug. Brush your teeth. When in doubt, throw it out. You start the day off with an accomplishment when you make your bed in the morning. Don’t take advantage. Respect children. Be brave. Pet every single dog you can. Turn the pan handle towards the wall when cooking. Everyone has a story. Listen more. Talk less. Say “thank you”. Learn to tell a good joke. Know when to be quiet. Buy fabulous soap for the shower. Tweeze in the car, it is great lighting. Know your audience. Decorate for every holiday. Make a fuss. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Wrap a gift. Hand write thank you notes. Make fresh
bread. Buy yourself flowers. Share great recipes. Be generous. Never tell someone their baby is funny looking. Frame your kids art. Bake chocolate chip cookies. Make soups. Don’t forget sunscreen. Set limits. Buy the shoes. Send unexpected love gifts in the mail. Drink Prosecco. Use navigation. Plant flowers. Clean out the fridge. Listen to NPR in the car. Let stuff go. Buy Advil in bulk. Sleep at a hotel as often as possible. Let waves crash at your ankles. Be still. Put ice cubes in your plants. Admit when you are wrong. Have breakfast for dinner. Smile at strangers. Celebrate Birthdays big. Watch bad t.v. Always have chocolate in the house at all times. Buy copious amounts of pillows. Splurge on great thread count sheets. Buy toilet paper and paper towels in bulk. Have wine in the fridge. Forgive. Donate what you don’t need. Keep quarters in your car. Ask for help. Go to bed early. Empty the
dishwasher. Use fabric softener. Read to your children. Take the stairs. Turn off lights. Be
good. Drink more water. Play games. Consider the source. Eat popcorn at the movies. Have a trash bag in the car. Call old friends. Bring flight attendants chocolates when you fly. Always stop at lemonade stands. Check milks expiration date before you pour it on your cereal. Be true to your
word. Nice goes a long way. Leave the world a better place then you found it.