Page 20 - You can't Make This Shit Up!

In between hurling and peeing, I was crying and saying “call daddy, call daddy and get him to come home”. She was frozen in terror.
I made it to the shower and turned the water on, which was FREEZING, so now I am shaking, and puking, and peeing, and crying. I am trying to peel off my clothes while being pummeled by freezing cold water.
Now this is the scene in my room. A wet and very confused child, in a towel, on the phone with her father. She is saying “mommy is sick”, and then I hear “why are you laughing dad, she is really
sick”. My wet, disgusting clothes are in heap on the floor of the shower. I managed to strip my bed of the comforter and sheets, which are now on a pile next to the bed. I am wet, shivering and wrapped in a beach towel on top of the mattress. That is when things got REALLY BAD.
Without going into too much detail, lets just say my ass exploded. I was going to die. Die on the toilet. Die from “the pot”.
With the last of the strength I could muster, I crawled from the bathroom back to the bed. Wet, shaking, dehydrated, crying, and naked. That is what Skee walked in on when he finally got home (I said 5 hours later. He said 20 minutes. I agree to disagree on that).
I called my mom and she drove over to take care of me. Assessed the situation, and just kept saying “oh Alli, oh Alli”. I love the mama. I needed the mama. It took about 7 hours to feel my face again.
So...Moral of the story. I clearly cannot do “the pot”. How does everyone BUT me know that you don’t eat the WHOLE COOKIE??? I am clearly not cut out to be a drug addict. I tried. I really did. I can’t even eat oreos anymore. f I die from an overdose, it is homicide.